When I was around 21 years old, an obsessive passion came over me, and has been the strongest driving force in my life ever since – To live much more as my Higher Self/Soul. Then in October 1997, I had quite an experience while riding my bicycle in Santa Cruz, CA. My Higher Self came to me in my mind, surfing the starry sky on a lit up surfboard. Cosmic white light sprayed as he carved waves through space.
The Love I felt was astounding, all encompassing, and immense. I also felt a blend of Joy, Fun, Laughter, Prosperity, Happiness and Freedom all rolled into one cohesive overall feeling. The ‘isness’ of it was constant, absolute…something that could be counted on for eternity. In that respect, it was unlike anything in this world. It’s beyond words, but hey, I did my best. ‘He’ informed ‘me’ that my passion to live like this more was real! And that this is the Highest Purpose, from which all other purposes are supported.
Despite having this passion, and experience, I lived a very self-destructive life. Truly ironic that I was a natural born healer, that helped many people…and yet I engaged in alcohol and marijuana abuse daily. I kept it secret because I was so ashamed. This was largely because of a car accident in Mexico when I was 18 years old. My 3-year-old cousin Christian died, and I was driving. As you can tell from his photo, he is a very bright light.
I lived with this little bi-lingual toe-head and his father didn’t, so he was more like a son. We loved each other very much. The sadness and guilt were suffocating. On top of that, I lost my mother in a fire at age 15. I persisted and healed. Being a spiritual healer and having a strong passion for Soul were a major part of not only pulling through, but thriving.